14. Round Two

It’s time for round two.

For this article to understood correctly, we need to recap on a few details.

When I was first diagnosed with a brain tumour, it was assumed to be benign (non-cancerous). It was agreed that surgery would be needed to remove as much of the tumour as was safe to do so, however, some of the walls of my tumour would likely be left behind. We work on the assumption that 95% of my original tumour was removed.

The location of my tumour was near the speech, language, and sensation centres of my brain. It was explained that there were risks involved in the surgery, and that there was a chance that these areas of my brain could be effected. Somehow, I’ve been very lucky and I’ve managed to recover without any big issues.

My MRI scan prior to surgery in September 2019.

As you’ll know from my past articles over the past 7 months, I’ve been administered 6 weeks of radiotherapy, with 6 months of additional chemotherapy. Radiotherapy kills cancer cells, and chemo disrupts the cancer so it cannot survive. This is the standard treatment for a Glioblastoma.

An Apology

My blog has been a little distracted lately, and it’s deviated from being informational, to being a space to update about what I get up to. It’s not been very cancer-y. That’s because I’ve been distracting myself with work and building things like DashDonate.org.

From now, I need to make sure that this blog is not about what I do, but what motivates me to do it.

Keeping sane in a situation like this is hard, and it can be a lot to get your head around. It took me around a month to find my feet after diagnosis. Feelings of being lost, without hope, or scared are normal.

I found writing and working to be my coping mechanisms – Hence this blog, and why I want to work on my own projects to keep me busy. Everyone has different ways of coping, it’s ok to take a break while you figure out how to deal with things.

Now

My treatment has been going well, however, these past few weeks I’ve been feeling a little different. It’s common that due to the harsh nature of the treatment I’ve had, issues will arise and make life more difficult.

Imagine getting back home after a cold winter walk – your fingers are numb, and if you try to use them, you can’t feel any detail until your hands warm up.

This sensation – it’s a constant for my entire right arm, and part of my right leg. Only recently, as more swelling has built up from chemo, have I noticed a change. On Friday (17th April 2020), I decided to ask for some help in investigating this change. Following an MRI scan on Friday, and a phone call this morning (20th April 2020), I now have answers.

Answers

The scan revealed that there is an object (of an unknown type) in the location that the 5% remaining tumour, and it has grown in size since October (my previous scan).

Luckily, my surgeon and oncologist are confident that we can act on these scans. We need to go back inside the crazy place that is my head, and this object needs to be taken out. Now, speculating is the worst thing you can do. Whatever this object is, we’re going to remove it in a few weeks. The remaining 5% of my original tumour, that will also be removed.

It’s weird categorising brain surgery as a good thing; I can assure you that it is though. It’s something we can do to fight this.

The last time I had surgery, it was less than 24 hours after finding out I had a tumour. I didn’t really have time to process it. This time, I’ve got plenty of time to think and prepare. Again though, I stand strong with speculation being a complete waste of time. What will be will be.

I’d be lying if I said that I’m not scared or nervous about this – I’m shit scared.

I know what needs to be done. The risks are there, but I’ve never been one to be put off by that.

What now?

For now, while we wait for this surgery, I think it’s important to keep to my normal routine as I was doing before. Though there are many things in my life that I could worry about, it’s about appreciating what really matters.

So, what now? Well I’m gonna appreciate the time I have.

As you’re probably aware, this blog is for sharing a patient’s view of cancer. If there’s anything you want to ask or get more information on, please do not hesitate to send me an message.

Stay safe.